Discernment Therapy

Structure of Discernment Therapy

One of the most complicated scenarios in couple therapy involves the situation in which one or both
partners express uncertainty about trying to preserve their marriage. Discernment counseling focuses on three paths: staying married as you have been, separation or divorce, or a six-month all-out effort in couples therapy to see if you can make your marriage healthy and suitable for both of you. The overarching goal of discernment counseling is to support clients struggling with divorce ambivalence. It helps couples choose the next step in their relationship. Sometimes, this means ending the relationship. Other times, it means committing to trying to salvage it.

Shorter Term Therapy: 1-5 sessions total.

• At the end of each session, decide whether to meet again.
• 2-hour opening session, 1.5-hour follow-up sessions. Both partners come for all sessions.
• Session flow: first part with both partners, then separate conversations with each partner, come together at the end.
• Confidentiality: The therapist does not share specifics of what each spouse said but can share impressions and reactions with each spouse when talking to each other.

The Three Paths of Discernment

• Path 1: marriage as it is (status quo) - 19% choose this.
• Path 2: separation/divorce - 30 % choose this one.
• Path 3: all-out effort in couples therapy for six months - 51% choose this one.

The only failure of discernment counseling is if the couple doesn’t learn something. Every divorce forever changes the lives of the adults and children involved. And, like a ripple effect, societal perceptions of marriage continue to be affected by the steady divorce rate. Although many divorces occur for
the best, a great many divorces could be prevented for the better.

Call Wade Bergquist today to better understand if discernment therapy is the right choice for you and your partner.